Sturgeon's Law

I have seen numerous films, read numerous books, played numerous games and listened to numerous CDs. Were they all good? Oh, some of them. Were some of these films, books, games and CDs utter garbage? The answer is a solid "YES, AS MUCH GARBAGE AS YOU CAN SHOVE DOWN INTO EBERT AND ROEPER'S THROAT!"

I have reviewed some stuff in the past and I am a fan of reading reviews of various media by other writers. I always chuckle at the bad reviews, where the acting is mentioned as decent as acting performed in a first grade play. Or when the production had the budget price of a Subway Meatball Marinara sandwich. Or when the script was apparently written by monkeys suffering from arthritis. Anyone who enjoys reading and writing reviews, whether they are of good media or bad, should know Sturgeon's Law.

What is this law? It is derived from science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon, whose real name Edward Hamilton Waldo. He chose the pseuodonym he is known by because he allegedly liked the nickname "Ted." Sturgeon won an International Fantasy Award for his novel More Than Human. Sturgeon is well known for his statement of most material being uninspired:

"Ninety percent of everything is crap."

I believe Sturgeon was referring to how people regarded the science fiction genre as nothing but a landfill of kiddie literature and brainless plotlines. Sturgeon was defending the genre he was working in by saying that there was "crap" in the science fiction genre but there is also some "crap" in romance, "crap" in horror, "crap" in drama and so on. A fellow blogger also used Sturgeon's quote to list what he believed was overrated media.

I consider myself to be somewhat of a snob when it comes to various books, films, game, etc. I would choose something with value even if it does not receive mainstream attention. The stuff that does get mainstream attention, however, is stuff I would deem leftovers from the dumpster. That is not always the case, but I could list some examples of the science fiction/fantasy crop that fits into the "ninety percent" realm.


The Eye of Argon by Jim Theis

The Eye of Argon is an infamously horrible novella written by Jim Theis, who at the time was sixteen years old. At some science fiction and fantasy conventions, there would be a contest of who could read through this failed epic without bursting out laughing. Try reading this excerpt from the beginning of the story:

The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust rackedclimes of the baren land which dominates large portions of theNorgolian empire. Age worn hoof prints smothered by the siftingsands of time shone dully against the dust splattered crust ofearth. The tireless sun cast its parching rays of incandescensefrom overhead, half way through its daily revolution. Smallrodents scampered about, occupying themselves in the dailyaccomplishments of their dismal lives. Dust sprayed over threeheaving mounts in blinding clouds, while they bore the burdonsomecargoes of their struggling overseers.

Can we say "rough draft?"

Alone in the Dark - Starring Christian Slater and Tara Reid; Directed by Uwe Boll

Not only is this a really, really inept horror film, but it is a really, really inept horror film that also happens to be a video game adaptation. The plot involves Christian Slater as a paranormal investigator trying to find why some people are waking up in the middle of the night to walk through the middle of nowhere. I am not going to spend too much time telling about more of the plot because it is shoddily written. The special effects are fake, the dialogue and acting is at the level of a chimpanzee doing Shakespeare (I apologize to the chimpanzees or any other animals used for parodying mediocre material.) and all of this was done by infamous director Dr. Uwe Boll whose style closely relates to Ed Wood. His films are so bad that there is a petition to ask Dr. Boll to stop producing them.

To illustrate its lameness, here is the promo below:



So I have showed some of the worst of the worst. I believe however, that the Science Fiction Film and Literature class I'm taking will showcase some of the best material science fiction has to offer.

- Kristopher